


wait, what?

by chansbang



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Canon Compliant, Cuddling, Domestic, Fluff, chan has a big crush on felix, felix has a big crush on him too, skz just wants to shove them in a room until they figure it out, they are both oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:26:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chansbang/pseuds/chansbang
Summary: Chan has a big, big crush on Felix, he is extremely oblivious, the other members are getting sick of it, and Felix just thinks he's really cute.a/n: inspired by that One Kid's Room episode where Chan was pretty baffled at how Felix never cuddles him? Someone help him, please.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	wait, what?

_Wait... what?_

That was Chan's initial thought to himself, as he listened to the other members go on for ages about Felix's affectionate habits. He poked at the sleeves of his sweater, feeling his fingers start to become a bit antsy as his mind grew distant in response to the conversation going on. The members were slouched over each other, shoving a few hard candies in their mouths and giggling as they recorded the One Kid Room episode. The staff were standing behind the cameras, a few of them chuckling at what the members were so eagerly sharing about their lives at the dorm.

"Whenever we have a really serious conversation, he has to hug me to sleep," Seungmin remarked, laughing a bit in disbelief at the very notion.

"He does the same with me!" Changbin suddenly sat up, and the other members, _except for Chan_ , doubled over in response.

"He's really clingy. But it's sweet, you know?" Hyunjin mused, smiling softly, his mind most likely wandering off to the scent of fresh laundry Felix always seemed to bring with him, and the warmth of the younger's highly affectionate cuddling style.

"Felix.. has never done that with me," Chan interrupted, the bright atmosphere of the conversation toning down and graying slightly. He fostered a smile, but couldn't help but acknowledge the sinking feeling in his heart and stomach. Chan was never one to have these sort of childish feelings, but he had felt extremely left out. 

"Your relationship with him is a bit different, though," Hyunjin replied, shrugging slightly. The other members nodded and mumbled in agreement, quickly moving onto a different subject once they had sensed Chan's somewhat embarrassing realization; however, the rest of the recording felt a bit strange. Despite later persevering to discuss how his toughness with Felix during the training period was a result of his deep admiration for the younger, he couldn't shake the disappointment from his earlier discovery. _Disappointment_ , yeah, that's the word. 

Once they were done with Felix's part, the younger had waddled back inside the main set. He had a bright smile on his face, _as always_ , and the sight of Felix had instantly lifted Chan's mood a bit. It was easy to fall into a mental rabbit hole about Felix possibly being uncomfortable with him, there being some sort of personal issue... _did he hate his leader_? Oh no. No, surely not. 

"Are you coming?" Minho scoffed, and it abruptly switched Chan out of the dim headspace he'd already fallen back down into. He realized all of them had already gotten up from the couches and started packing their things to head back to the dorm. He nodded, shuddering a bit in hopes to rid himself of the somewhat disconcerting thoughts he was starting to have. While packing up his bag from the floor and checking for everything he'd need in the studio later that night, Chan couldn't quite shake off the feeling that a heavy gaze was lingering on him. Surely enough, Minho was standing there a few feet away from him, his head tilted and eyes squinting in intense thought. Minho was the only one that seemed to notice before that the leader had zoned out a bit, and Chan sighed loudly, heaving his bag over his shoulder. Minho was the type of person extremely keen to feelings, and thoughts, and sensations, so in turn he was able to emotionally read almost anyone, with just a simple mental scanning. Chan prepared himself for a questioning.

"You seem weird," Minho simply noted, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm fine. Did you get your things?" Chan mumbled, looking behind Minho to see if he had gotten his backpack already.

"It's because of the Felix thing, isn't it?" Minho had blatantly ignored his question, proceeding with his incessant prodding. The mention of the younger's name had some of the other members look inquisitively in the direction; ironically, the boy being discussed was nowhere to be found, most likely already heading downstairs with the others.

"Can you keep your voice down?" Chan groaned, stepping a bit closer to Minho, waving off Changbin and Hyunjin, who looked like they were about to make their own way into the conversation. The two shared confused glances with each other, but shrugged and had started to head back as well. Minho's interrogation was already a bit overwhelming, and Chan really couldn't handle facing even more people about what had felt like a very _private_ introspection. Something about it felt too close, hurt maybe a bit more than it should've.

"So, are we going to talk about it?" Minho crossed his arms, staring at the older with a somewhat satisfied smirk, surely feeling like he had won somehow. It was an easy game though — Chan wore his heart on his sleeve. The absence of his deep dimples and comforting, soft smile made it easy for almost anyone to notice something was bothering him; especially if it was Minho, the infamous mind reader of the group.

Chan felt like he'd been transported to a Western gunfight as him and Minho stood silently with strong, unyielding expressions. They were waiting for whoever would pull their gun first, who would win. Unfortunately, Chan was tired, and had a lot of work to do, and didn't quite feel like dueling, and he sighed heavily.

"At the dorm. We'll talk at the dorm," he replied, and Minho nodded quickly, chuckling a bit and immediately turning around to gather his things, obviously feeling sated with how it had worked out for him. They walked back together to the dorm wordlessly, straggling behind the others. At some point, they had lost them, and Chan had figured they might've had some sort o spontaneous foot race, or stopped at a shop. However, when he had decided to breeze in through the conbin across the street from their building for a snack, he heard the loud, melodic, and completely unmistakable laughs of Felix, Jisung, and Jeongin. His breathing had stuttered a bit, feeling a little lost in the presence of Felix, and he really didn't enjoy it.

"Is that Channie-hyung? Quick, quick, make him pay!" Jeongin cackled, and soon the older had been ambushed, Jisung clinging onto his arm and starting to carelessly whine. Chan had desperately tried to make his immediate groan sound playful, but instead it sounded a bit irritated, low, hurt. His reaction had caught the attention of Felix, who emerged from one of the aisles with a concerned look on his face. 

"Oh, hyung, won't you take care of us? Please? I am so broke right now, I bought so many gifts for you guys, oh, wait, where are they? Yeah um.. they're coming in the mail just—" Jisung rambled ecstatically, but was cut off in mere seconds.

"Lay off Chan-hyung, guys. I'll pay for it," Felix had interrupted, albeit a bit out of character. The other two had quieted instantly, and Jisung had slowly slid off his arm as the silence grew a bit heavy and uncomfortable. The drop in the atmosphere was similar to a puppy's yelp after a play-fight growing too serious, and the change had left them all avoiding eyes and words sheepishly. Felix looked a bit pitiful as he started to pull out his wallet, and Chan wanted to disappear, immediately feeling guilty for ruining the younger kids' fun. Was his expression really that clear? Was his sour mood really that evident that _Felix_ of all people had to calm down the others for the sake of Chan's patience?

"Is there anything you want, Chan-hyung? Lemme guess. Pineapple juice," Felix asked him quietly, and when Chan had looked up from staring at his shoes, the younger was beaming softly. Felix was really quite refreshing, and bright, and the best way Chan could describe the aura that Felix radiated was _sunny_ , like half-past noon on a summer solstice. Despite the fast drop in mood, Felix's brightness had already worn out some of the knots in Chan's shoulders and caused him to smile softly back at Felix.

"Actually, I'm okay. Thank you," he answered. He'd lost his appetite and wasn't really sure he'd eat anything else for the rest of the evening.

"I think you already have some at home, anyway," Felix remarked, turning and giving his card to the cashier. Chan blinked, wondering why and how Felix had even really kept up with the amount of pineapple juice at home. However, it made sense when acknowledging the fact that Felix was often times the one looking after Chan the most. He'd bring him ramen at the studio whenever he'd forget to eat, he'd bring him a donut in the morning when he was up early, he liked sitting next to him in the van and waiting up for him; it was a multitude of things but he essentially always felt _cared for_ by Felix, and while it maybe should've felt inappropriate for their age gap, it felt absolutely natural. It made him feel warm, and a little smaller than he already was.

They managed to make it back to the dorm, and similar to how he was with Minho earlier, they were mostly quiet, except for Jeongin giggling and showing them a funny TikTok every now and then. Chan walked behind all of them, as he preferred to do; however, he could feel them looking back every now and then, their worried eyes darting to catch a quick glimpse. Chan felt his body weight become heavier and heavier with every step, feeling that same guilty feeling, the same frustration with how easy he must've been to read emotionally. He pulled his coat tighter against his body.

Minho had greeted him eagerly when they all had walked back inside their front door, and soon he was whisked away into the room Minho shared with Seungmin and Hyunjin, ignoring the commotion that had immediately started with the rest of the younger members in the living room. Minho walked over to his closet, starting to organize a bit of the mess that had accumulated over the week while Chan sat down on Minho's bed, pushing back the blackout curtains and usurping a cat plushie to hug to his chest.

"You're mad Felix isn't touchy with you too, right?" Minho had asked quite matter-of-factly. Chan was a bit taken aback.

"Mad? What, no, I could—"

"Oh yeah, I know, I know, you could _never be mad at him_ , yeah. But clearly you're not happy about it," Minho scoffed, looking back at him with a knowing glance. Chan wasn't really sure what he knew, though.

"I mean.. yeah. It doesn't feel good, you know?" Chan mumbled, picking up the cat plushie he was holding in his arms and beginning to poke at one of its beaded eyes nervously.

"Did you tell him not to touch you?" Minho asked. Again, Chan felt shocked by what he was asking. He wouldn't ever ask Felix to not be touchy or affectionate with him, if he really wanted to be.

"No, not at all. I don't know why he doesn't," Chan replied, sighing a little at the end of his sentence and feeling defeated. His grip on the plushie loosened, and he let it flop back onto Minho's mattress, deciding instead to pick at his own fingers.

"Then you should just ask. It doesn't sound like it's a problem that starts with you, so maybe he has his own differences. Just talk to him about it," Minho assured him nonchalantly, turning around and closing the closet door as he finished what he'd been cleaning up. He watched as Chan actively avoided looking up, instead focusing so deeply on his fingers and positively zoning out.

"Earth to Channie," Minho giggled, hopping onto his own bed next to him, poking the older's face, which earned him a poke in the side in return.

"Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I'll... talk to him," Chan responded hesitantly, starting to stand up as he'd figured the conversation was pretty much done.

"Hey! Do you promise to talk with him about it?" Minho had suddenly grabbed onto his arm, and Chan glanced at his urgent expression. Minho was usually a more playful person, often not serious at all and joking; however, the look on his face Chan had been met with had really managed to communicate how strongly Minho felt about making sure his members were okay. Chan patted Minho's hand that had been desperately hanging onto his arm, giving him a soft, reassuring smile.

"I will. Don't worry about it from now on. It's a me and Felix thing," Chan replied, a bit more energetically than before, in hopes of comforting him.

"Yeah, you know, there's a lot of just you and Felix things nowadays," Minho teased, letting go of his arm, and it definitely took Chan heaps of self control to stop himself from chucking a pillow right into the dancer's head. Instead, he let out an exasperated groan and left the room, leaving Minho's satisfied giggles behind.

While occupied with the discussion he had with Minho, he had become adapted to the shouting and laughing that boomed from the living room; however, as soon as he left Minho's room, he was met with the loud noise once again, hitting him nearly like a freight train to the point he paused to take a deep breath before entering and seeing that Felix, Seungmin, and Jisung were spread out and lying all over the couch playing KartRider with each other. Chan couldn't really have expected much else from the amount of noise they had been making.

"Jisung-ah, I'm going to kill you," Seungmin had muttered under his breath angrily, presumably after being passed.

"Are you guys almost done?" Chan asked, leaning against the archway and watching them all jump at the sudden presence of the older.

"Um, ah yeah, I'm about to beat all of them right now," Jisung stated triumphantly, biting his lip in concentration. Chan looked over to Felix, who was hanging upside down on the couch, his head barely a centimeter off the ground. He found Felix's playing position endearing and smiled a little, although a part of his brain was screaming that it wasn't safe for the blood to be rushing to Felix's head for so long. Chan shrugged it off, already feeling too much like the interrupting older sibling.

" _Ah, fuck, I'm going to lose_!" Felix had shouted in English, and Chan assumed it was because he was much too focused to even try translating the Korean in his head.

"Okay, well, when you're done, Felix, I want to talk to you in our room," Chan said calmly, despite all three of them immediately looking up at him in shock. 

"Oooooh, Felix's in trouble," Jisung teased, already dismissing the situation and focusing back on the game. Seungmin, too, shrugged and went back to actively moving his phone around. However, Chan felt his stomach drop a bit at Felix's expression — it was quite ambiguous but nervousness was written all over his face, and it made him feel so guilty, because he really hadn't see Felix look this nervous since the days of their debut and the survival show, when things were much more serious and intense and complicated. While Felix had been so distracted, Jisung shouted happily as he crossed the finish line first, and then Seungmin, and then Felix last, but the latter had quickly put down his phone without a word and began to follow Chan to their shared room. Felix walked behind him, and despite not even seeing the younger, Chan wasn't really feeling the same, bright, _sunny_ energy he always had seemed to exude. When they had finally reached the end of the hall, Chan peeked inside and let out a small sigh of relief at the fact Changbin wasn't inside, assuming that the distant noise of the shower he heard had probably been the rapper.

"Am I really in trouble?" Felix mumbled lowly, pausing under the arch of their doorframe. Chan whipped around, and he felt the familiar heaviness of guilt once he'd seen the small pout on the younger's face.

"No, not at all. Didn't mean to make you think that," Chan answered quickly, moving a few of Felix's plushies to the side so he could take a seat on his bed. Felix had stepped closer to sit beside him, but instead he took a Ryan plushie that Chan had pushed away and held it to his chest. Chan watched Felix tug a bit at Ryan's ears and felt a pang in his chest at Felix's anxious habit. 

"I just have a question. Not a big deal," Chan said, although it arguably was to reassure himself more than anything. He was nervous to ask Felix about this, too, worried that he had read things wrong, that it really was just a honest coincidence and that there wasn't any rhyme or reason to Felix's actions. He scratched the back of his neck to occupy his slightly shaky hands.

"You can ask," Felix told him, and Chan really didn't feel like meeting his gaze, knowing it'd make him more nervous.

"You'll see the One Kid episode eventually, but.. we talked about how you're.. like, affectionate with the members? But you know, they were saying these things about how you hug them to sleep, and you're clingy with them and these other things but you know.. you're not like that with me. And I was just wondering why that is," Chan had sighed out sheepishly after a long, heavy moment of silence and hesitation. 

"Oh," Felix responded, and Chan looked over, seeing that the younger had been frozen with his eyebrows furrowed. However, once realizing the older's gaze was on him, he coughed and ran a hand through his hair, most likely snapping himself back into reality.

"I, um. It's not because of anything, bad, I think," Felix stuttered, tilting his head in confusion and Chan could clearly see he was struggling to word himself correctly.

"You think?" Chan teased a bit, and Felix shook his head quickly.

"Yeah, no, nothing bad, just like. I'm not really s-sure why, but—"

"Hey, calm down, okay? It's fine, really. I promise," Chan had interrupted, feeling unsettled by the younger's shaky and disorganized and clearly somewhat distressed response. He reached over and patted his back lightly, which, ironically, was the utmost extent of a lot of their touching. However, the notion seemed to relax Felix a bit, and he took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"I just, um. For some reason, it makes me sort of nervous with you,"

Felix said, deliberately avoiding eye-contact. Chan tilted his head, lifting his hand off Felix's back and wondering if that had actually made him nervous, too.

"What? Why? Did I do something before?" Chan asked quickly, the possible reasons already flashing through his head. Did he make Felix uncomfortable with something he said? Did Felix feel like he couldn't be safe or comfortable with him? Now, that was _not good_ , not good at—

"No, no, Chan-hyung. You didn't do anything," Felix countered, and he gave Chan a soft, hopeful smile, which made Chan's heart nearly break. For some reason, Chan's close existence to him was making him nervous, yet he still felt the need to try and reassure the older with that usual, bright aura of his. It didn't quite add up, and Chan huffed, ultimately confused with what had unfolded between them.

"I don't really know why. I mean, I don't mind cuddling Jisung because it's _Jisung_ , you know? But I feel like you and me are a bit different, right?" Felix explained, and he met Chan's eyes, his own expression urging for some sort of agreement. 

"Yeah. We are," Chan was confused; nevertheless, he couldn't really deny that their friendship was different from the other members. It felt softer, yet heavier all at the same time. On days that they laughed for hours watching videos together it was like a feather, so easy to hold and keep. But on days that Chan hadn't slept for a while, on days that he felt really low, or days that Felix felt unmotivated and self-conscious, the energy between them was heavy like a brick. There was a lot there, a lot to unpack and so much that lingered in the air between them.

"It feels different. So I don't want to do anything wrong, I guess?" Felix continued. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, yeah."

"I see," Chan replied, nodding. It felt oddly unfinished, like something was still left uncovered.

"You won't make me uncomfortable, though," Chan added after a few quiet moments.

"Oh, really?" Felix was a bit taken aback, blinking inquisitively at the older.

"Yeah, I don't mind, seriously. You won't make me uncomfortable, so you don't need to worry about that," Chan expanded, and he nearly laughed at the wide smile that spread across Felix's face. He had quickly turned from anxious and shaky to quite overjoyed. _Just at the thought of... touching me? _Chan had wondered. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Felix's arms reaching around his middle, and he buried his face into the side of Chan's bicep, making a satisfied noise that was eerily similar to a cat.__

__"Ah, you know I won't leave you alone now, right?" Felix said, his voice tilting upwards in a happy tone that soothed Chan's nerves, and once again, with somehow just his voice and touch, Felix was able to somewhat uncoil the knots of stress in Chan's shoulders, and he felt his entire body unwind in a way he only was able to do when lying down for the night._ _

__"Like you do, anyways," Chan shrugged, and basked in the heat of Felix's body warmth. Things felt different, but good. Really good._ _

__He could get used to this._ _

**Author's Note:**

> ah okay, well, i hope u liked it
> 
> let me know what you think! i wrote this first part nearly half-asleep but i hope its alright TT thank u for reading, hope u all have a wonderful day!!!
> 
> * edit, 2021-01-05: this was gonna be a short multi-chaptered story but i sort of lost interest so i just decided to keep it a oneshot,, hope you still enjoy though!!


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